Dear 18 year old me,
I know you love babies, I know you can't wait to be a mum some day, but have you thought about life after baby, your body changing and theres things people never talk about, so you wont have the information.
Lets talk aout sex baby.Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be… Okay, those are obviously Salt-n-Pepa lyrics, but I have found postpartum sex to be one of the least talked about (and trickiest!) parts about returning to life as you knew it after a baby. If you feel uncomfortable talking about sex, or if it’s just an unsavory topic to you, please stop reading! It’s totally fine.
Sex After Baby is a topic that most mums, especially first time mums don't think about very much for those 9/10 months of pregnancy. Then, baby arrives, the sleepless nights, the sleeping in seperaate bedrooms, just so someone can get a few hours solid sleep, add other children to the mix, and well…..suddenly the topic of another baby is coming up (from other people) and you are thinking, how will that even happen??
The majority of women tear during childbirth. Some tear badly,requiring stitches and a lenght of time to heal, others get away with a small nick. The the famous “six week mark” come around, you know, that week they say is safe to get back in the saddle, BUT what if your not?
Talk to your obstritican, your nurse and most importantly your partner. It will take year to properly get back into the swing of things.
Here are my tips for the more hesitant new Mamas:
*Lubrication is your friend. Vagisil ProHydrate range has something for everyone. Developed after 5 years of research and clinical testing. This range has been specifically designed to relieve intimate dryness. The Internal Hydrating Gel (£12) coats the vaginal wall and slowly releases moisture over time to relieve dryness so you can feel comfortable and ready. The Vagisil range is available from leading supermarkets and chemists nationwide.
*Wine. Share a glass of wine with your partner. It’s one glass, enough to loosen you up, and not enough to make you hungover when the baby wakes up in approximately 43 minutes.
*Take a bath. In my opinion there are few things more relaxing than a bubble bath and a nice glass of wine.
*After the first few times (ouch) find a week where you guys can plan on having sex every day. Yes, every day. The key to postpartum sex is getting to the point where the sex isn’t built up at all. You’re not worrying about when it’s going to happen, or how it’s going to happen, and it just becomes something that you do together again. Not a special event. This trick really helped us get back on track.
*Fake it ’til you make it. I’m not talking about faking orgasms– that is entirely up to you. What I’m talking about is putting on your sexy persona as if it’s a beautiful silk robe. Just try it on, see what it feels like– how you feel with it on. Pretend to enjoy your sensuality and your sensuality will follow suit.
*Give yourself a break. You created a human. You brought a new and perfect life in to the world. You are not how you have sex, or who you have sex with. You are not what your body looks like– you are what your body has accomplished. Allow yourself the power and confidence of somebody who has done something truly remarkable and luxuriate in that feeling. The rest is details.
This year, Vagisil is launching ‘The Things I Wish I’d Known’ campaign – a look into all the things women can learn from each other about love, life and intimate health. They believe women sharing experiences can equip others for times ahead. Have a look at the infograph they have created.
T, A and H xxxx